Cold hands, warm shart.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize