suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
I have to watch that.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.