My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...