I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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