Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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