I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
