Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
