I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
