Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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