May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
