Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize