the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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