If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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