She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
