the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
