Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
