are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
