dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
