Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
