I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He did a backflip because drugs
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
