I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
