And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
