let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
