sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
