i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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