I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I think I died a long time ago.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
