Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
im about as happy as oj after his trial
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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