A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
