i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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