"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
