Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
my liver is dry heaving
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
