Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
