yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
