I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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