I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize