he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
