Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
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i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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