It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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