i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You left your underwear on the fireplace
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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