Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
