i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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