She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
