doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
