I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
