Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize