Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize