So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
