Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
