my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize