You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
