Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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