remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It's official drugs can't kill me
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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