i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
