You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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