Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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