GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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