He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
