Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
