oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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