goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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