Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
