just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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