; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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