you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
